


Statement of: Missing Scenes

by j_whirl44



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Gen, Martin Blackwood Needs a Hug, Soft Jonathan Sims in these trying times???, tags will surely be updates as this progresses but for now, we just got the OG squad bc i miss them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23661208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_whirl44/pseuds/j_whirl44
Summary: A look into the what goes on while the tape recorders aren't running.(I have an idea and motivation to write short little "missing scenes"  spread throughout the series every week before the new episodes drop)Updated every week!
Relationships: Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims (past), Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	1. Uneventful Days

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not handling only one episode a week after binging the whole thing in a little under 2 weeks. This is how i'm going to cope.
> 
> *most of these ideas will probably come from whatever insanity the discord server decides to talk about that week*

The air was cold and there was a mist coming from on top of the lake. Jon grumbled to himself as he wrapped his jacket tighter around himself. He heard a snicker from behind him before he felt a hand clasp onto his shoulder.

“Come on, boss! This’ll be fun!” Tim said as he pushed ahead. Sasha followed behind him. Martin was beside him, he reached out and held a cup towards Jon.

“There was a little bit of tea left if you want it,” he said. Jon looked down at the cup and gave a sigh as he took it.

“Thank you,” he mumbled none too kindly. Martin just gave him a small smile in return as he stumbled on ahead.

The four of them were out on a ‘weekend team bonding retreat’ as Elias described it. According to him, Elias noticed an “unseen tension” within the group and thought it’d be “effective if they spent more time together” so he sent them into the woods for the weekend in order for them to fix whatever.

Tim and Sasha were immediately up for it and Jon had stated his _many_ objections to it. In the end he was outvoted and now they were here, walking down the hill towards the mouth of the lake where two kayaks waited for them.

“So,” Tim said in far-too-loud of a voice, “Sasha and I will take one so...Martin! You and Jon can have the other,” he finished. He had a look on his face that Jon couldn’t really make out as Sasha slapped his arm. Jon looked over at Martin who was looking at anything but Jon.

Finally they looked at each other, “I mean if that-that’s okay with you Jon, uh,” he said.

Jon sighed, “I don’t rather care, really, the faster we start this the faster we can get home.”

Martin laughed the same laugh he did whenever he seemed uncomfortable Jon had noticed, “Right, uh yeah, you take the front. I can steer from the back,” he said.

The four settled into their respective kayaks and began their trek.

“So where are we actually going exactly,” Jon shouted out.

“Oh don’t know. I guess we just kinda go,” Tim said.

Jon rolled his eyes. “Perfect so what are we supposed to do while we row out into nothing? Talk about our feelings,” he said.

“Oh sorry boss I’m a shut book, I don’t open that easily unless you buy me a few drinks first,” Tim said. At least Sasha swung her elbow back into his ribs. Tim yelped.

No one spoke for a while after that as they continued to move further and further away from land, towards the middle of the lake. Jon had to admit he didn’t mind the silence and the scenery around them was a sight to behold.

It was just beginning to be fall and the trees that lined the shore began to change their colors. The wind was blowing enough to sweep some of the leaves off their branches. Jon closed his eyes and took in the sounds of it. The bristling of leaves, the early morning birds, the sounds of the oars as they entered and exited the water. He didn’t realize he was falling backwards until Martin’s hands shot up along his back to steady him.

“Whoa, whoa you okay there, Jon?” he asked.

Jon opened his eyes and quickly readjusted himself, which almost capsized the kayak in the process. Tim and Sasha laughed next to them.

“I’m fine Martin I just uh, dozed off I suppose, uh sorry,” Jon said. He hoped the blush on his cheeks from embarrassment, and maybe a little of something else, wasn’t too obvious.

“It’s okay,” Martin said. Another beat of silence, “good thing you weren’t in the back then,” he added with that same nervous laugh. Jon nodded noncommittally.

“What are you making Martin do all the work while you take a nap then, sir boss,” Sasha said.

“No,” Jon snapped, “No I just didn’t sleep all that well last night and kind of, dozed off I guess,” he said.

“Well we could stop soon. I looked this place up and there’s actually a nice little place we can go eat our lunches-”

“We brought lunch?” Jon said.

“Uh yeah, it’s in your bag. You’re the one who packed it remember?” Sasha said. The tone in her voice didn’t go unnoticed by Jon, but he couldn’t quite place the feeling behind it.

Jon looked down at the bag at his feet and took in a breath, “of course, yes, I-uh, must’ve forgot,” he said.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the four of them now. Tim and Sasha shared a look out of the corner of Jon’s eye. Martin cleared his throat, “Right well it’s just up ahead. It’s a bit of a walk but people say the path isn't too hard to navigate,” he said.

“Martin, when did you plan this,” Sasha asked with a smile Jon had never seen her give to him.

They pulled their kayaks into the sand and got out. Jon could see the blush on Martin’s cheeks, “Oh when Elias told us where we were going I didn’t recognize the name so I looked it up to find out if it had any secrets,” he said.

_‘If only you were that thorough in your work’_ Jon wanted to say, but he bit his tongue. He wasn’t entirely in the mood to be the asshole right now. For once since he started this job he actually felt comfortable around the three of them and he didn’t want to lose it.

“Well then lead the way, boy scout!” Tim said. The three made their way forward while Jon brought up the back. He listened as they talked amongst themselves about whatever current events going on that Jon didn’t really know about. He’s started to spend more and more time in his office either recording or writing down statements that he hasn’t been involved with much else. He didn’t expect this job to entail so much work, but the others seem to be handling it well enough.

Lost in his thoughts he nearly bumped into Tim as he now realized the three of them were looking at him expectantly. 

“Your bag, mate,” Sasha said.

“Oh right. Here,” Jon rushed out as he swung his bag off his back and handed it to Sasha. He felt Martin watch him with worried eyes but he shook it off.

It took a few minutes to set up and there was a lot more pushing and shoving involved than probably necessary but the four of them were finally sat down on a blanket with food in hand.

Jon heard Sasha gasp and he looked up. “Oh this is beautiful,” she said, “I didn’t realize we climbed this high!”

Jon followed her gaze and even he couldn’t deny the beauty of the view laid out in front of them. They climbed up just enough to be able to see even further out and get a better glimpse of the trees changing. The water was just expanding into the horizon. The sun was at its peak and it’s warm rays beat down upon them and it seemed to be at the perfect temperature to stay warm but not drown in the heat.

“Whoa wait guys look. I...I think there’s an actual _smile_ on Jon’s face. I mean, Sasha, Martin do you see that?” Tim said.

Jon turned his attention back to the group and rolled his eyes at the shit eating grin on Tim’s face. His smile stayed though.

“Yes well the view is quite remarkable, Sasha’s right. Uh, good work finding this place Martin,” he said.

Martin looked surprised at the direct complement. He nodded his head and smiled in acknowledgement.

“Well the view isn’t as good as just staring at me though is it?” Tim declared as he now stood and posed. The four of them started to laugh.

“No one wants to see that, Tim,” Sasha said. Tim looked at her with mock hurt.

He settled down again as they all ate their lunch in, for once, was a comfortable silence.

“So what’s on the agenda now?” Tim asked.

The three of them instinctively turned to Martin who was in the middle of pouring himself another cup of tea. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Jon noticed how much his glasses made his eyes bigger.

“What? I-I don’t know,” he said.

“Oh come on I know you researched this place more than just this spot. You’ve got more places up your sleeve don’t you. It’s always the cute unassuming ones,” Tim said.

Sasha again slapped Tim in the arm at his brashness, “honestly Tim,” she muttered with only mild annoyance.

Martin cleared his throat, “Well there were a few places I saw,” he said.

“There it is! Hey! Maybe you should be the boss. What do you think, _boss_?” Tim said, turning his attention to Jon. There was a look he was giving the two of them, almost like he was begging Jon to bring it up.

He was about to before Sasha loudly cleared her throat and stood up, “Right well TIm if you’re done _torturing us_ we should get back to the kayaks. Personally I wouldn’t mind just rowing out there for a while,” she said. The three men just nodded and shrugged as they made the way down the hill.

Jon could get used to this, he thought. When there wasn’t whatever weird tension between all of them, they actually got on great. He started to think maybe it was the Archives itself causing the friction between them all. He can admit that the feeling of being watched so strong sometimes while he was in his office was distracting to focus on anything else.

Of course he didn’t talk to them about it, but maybe he should. Maybe they feel the same.

Now wasn’t the time though, as they got into the kayaks and started out on the water again. Things were good. They ended up getting into a splashing contest and Tim and Sasha capsized. Jon and Marin were laughing too hard to notice them approaching their _own_ kayak and forcing them into the water as well.

They ended their weekend back at their small campsite, sat around a fire and continued to talk about nothing of significance.

Jon thought maybe he should thank Elias for suggesting to do this after all.


	2. M.K. Blackwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin Blackwood throughout the years. From an outside perspective.

Martin Blackwood is three years old. He sits on the floor in his living room watching his parents laugh and dance along to the music playing from the stereo. They turn to him and pick him up to swing along beside them and Martin yelps and wants to be let down as he gets nauseous easily. His mother comments on how much he looks like his father and she places each hand onto their cheeks. It’s nearly Christmas and the lights from the tree in the corner illuminate her face. It’s just the three of them in a small house, but it’s enough for Martin and his little mind. He loves his parents and they love him.

Martin Blackwood is eight years old. His mother doesn’t smile at him anymore, but in fairness she doesn’t smile much at anything anymore. His dad has gone, they had an argument two weeks ago after his mother’s doctor’s appointment and he’s only been back inside the house to collect his things. Martin doesn’t know why this is happening. His dad doesn’t say goodbye, instead he leaves a hasty note to him which he slips under the bedroom door. It just reads ‘look after yourself.’ Martin keeps it for a while but his mom finds it one day. She rips it up and throws it out. His friends find out and they distance themselves. He helps his mother in the best way his pre teenaged brain can. She never thanks him.

Martin Blackwood is thirteen years old. He’s switched schools though he doesn’t really seem to notice. His mother has taken priority. He’s starting to learn how to cook for the both of them. It’s mostly chicken based and small pastries. He always makes sure to make a cup of her favorite tea. Even if she never drinks it. There’s a boy in his class named Richard. He lives in the same neighborhood. Sometimes they walk home together. Martin likes Richard. He’s a good friend. One day they kiss, as well as any thirteen year olds kiss, under the tree in Richard’s backyard. They almost get caught by his dad. It’s never brought up again, but Richard holds his hand sometimes when they walk home now. Martin likes the feeling. His mother sees the tint of his cheeks sometimes, when she actually looks at him, and scoffs.

Martin Blackwood is eighteen years old. He’s dropped out of school due to his mother’s worsening condition. She’s lost a lot of weight in the past six months. Doctors aren’t sure what to do. Martin’s fallen asleep at the computer desk more often than not, as he searches through medical journals. Sometimes he misses school. He didn’t have many friends to speak of, but he did enjoy learning. He thinks of his dad and that shitty letter he left all those years ago. He’s been abandoned. He can’t give up on his mother. She needs him. He needs her. Sure she’s difficult most days, but he still loves her. He knows he hopes, deep down, she loves him too. He thinks about that moment when he was three and wishes he didn’t try to squirm away as much.  


Martin Blackwood is twenty-three years old. He thinks he’s in love with someone. It’s one of the nurses that stops by every so often to check on his mom. He’s gentle with her, but Martin thinks  _ that’s just his job _ . They don’t talk much outside of the visits but he clings to them in his more lonely moments. He hasn’t had much time to let someone in. Hasn’t really made time. A part of him, he suspects, doesn’t want to. Sometimes he wishes he could be as heartless as his dad, but that’s not what he really wants. What he wants is his mother to get better and he wants to see his dad again. If only so he can punch him until it feels better. If it ever will.

Martin Blackwood is twenty-eight years old. He’s trapped in his apartment. He thinks he hears the worms crawling all around him. On the walls. On the bed. He feels them on his skin. The knocking rings in his ears in the dead of night. He thinks of Jon and he laughs bitterly. He thinks of his mom and wonders if she’d even care or know what happened. Since she moved to the home he hasn’t really heard from her. He’s also gotten sick of the pitied looks the staff gave him whenever he tried to visit, so he just doesn’t anymore. Now here he is, sitting on his bed, knees to his chest as he begs for some sort of release from this terror. If it’s still an option, he wants to make it out alive. He does. He feels a pull, a need, to stay just a little bit closer to Jon after that.

Martin Blackwood is thirty-three years old. Or at least he’s supposed to be. He doesn’t really know anymore. He does know that he’s in love. With someone who loves him. It makes him happy, until he steps out into a world that craves nothing but fear and dread. Nothing is the same. For the first time in a while he thinks of his mother and maybe it really was a blessing that she’s dead. He remembers when Peter told him the news, his voice was that fake sincerity it always was. Martin arranged the funeral but he did not attend it. His time in The Lonely lurks in the corner of his mind as he holds on to Jon’s hand. He wills himself to not let go no matter how much he feels the need to. The phone rings, his fingers twitch, he doesn’t pick up. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hey I love Martin why not make this as sad as possible! aAso maybe this wasn't a missing scene as such but something i wanted to write bc i'm just worried about Martin so much I can think of nothing else.
> 
> Thanks for reading :) see you next week!


	3. 5 Times Jonathan Sims was "Adorable"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first time dabbling in this "5 times..." type fic so be gentle.

~

Jonathan Sims watches his mother dance around the room as she cleans the floors and sings along badly to the radio. Jon can’t comprehend much about his mother except the fact that he thinks she’s very pretty. Her long dark hair is usually tied up into a bun and she wears ripped jeans and an old shirt far too big for her slender frame. It was his father’s, but Jon doesn’t realize that. Currently he sits at the table in their kitchen. Paper in front of him and crayon in hand. He’s making a card for his mother. She’s going in for surgery to get her wisdom teeth removed tomorrow morning. Jon wants to make sure the card is perfect. His mother tries to sneak a peek at what he’s making but Jon pushes her away with all the might a toddler can muster. She can’t see it yet. “It’s for recovery,” he says. His mother laughs, “My darling I’ll be fine, but I can’t wait to see it,” she replies with a mock salute as she goes back to her cleaning. Jon smiles, satisfied with negotiations. His mother beams at him. Of course she never does see the card, but it’s a nice moment.

~~

Jonathan Sims doesn’t have many friends. He goes to school and comes home to his grandmother’s where he does his work and not much else. He doesn’t read much these days, not since the last time. So he tried desperately to find other ways to pass the time. The backyard isn’t big, but it’s enough. He starts stealing cardboard boxes out of the trash on his way home and secretly puts together a pirate ship. Or is it more of a spaceship? Jon oscillates between the two depending on where he wants to escape to that day. He creates adventures in his mind of far off places where he’s popular and dashing and he nearly escapes death and saves everyone in the end. Sometimes when he can't sleep because images of Mr. Spider crawl into his brain, he goes out there. Swinging his sword he made of aluminum foil and defeating the wretched creature. His grandmother watches sometimes as he screams and performs absurd sea shanties like he’s a pirate on the seven seas. She thinks it’s nice he gets to be a child sometimes. Even if it’s not for long.

~~~

Georgie Barker looks at Jon like he’s grown another head. He just blushes and shrugs under her gaze. She grabs his hands and gets him onto the carousel. “I can’t believe you’ve never ridden one before,” she says. It’s their first date and Jon is too full of nerves to focus on much. He’s just let her take the lead because it’s much simpler that way. The carousel starts to move and Jon is thrown by how fast it seems to go. Georgie is laughing next to him as their horses rise up and down. Down and up. The ride’s over quickly and they hop back down to solid ground. Jon still has a smile on his face, which Georgie returns. Jon’s never felt this light. He’s almost embarrassed. Things are going well. He feels good. This time he reaches his hand for Georgie’s and she accepts it. They head off to the next zoo exhibit. The blush doesn’t leave Jon’s cheeks the rest of the day. When they leave they ride it again, racing their stationary horses, Jon still lets Georgie win.

~~~~

Jonathan Sims has never been the best sleeper, and that’s been growing truer since starting his new position at theThe Magnus Institute. He’s been staying later and later, using the cot more and more. Or at least he did, before offering it to Martin. Now most nights, when it’s well after normal closing, it’s just them. At first they tried to ignore each other the best they could, but for Jon, the statements have been getting harder, more intense. The looming presence of Jane was something he felt like he couldn’t shake. Plus, he wouldn’t admit it out loud but he was just genuinely worried about Martin. They weren’t great friends really at this point, but nevertheless Jon found himself in the small office kitchen making two cups of tea. He’s not even aware of the time but when he walks up to the door there’s light coming through that lets him know Martin’s still awake. He knocks and is met with a surprised face. He reaches out the tea to Martin, who takes it with a smile and offers for Jon to come in. Jon wants to, but he doesn’t. Something too personal about it still, maybe one day though.

~~~~~  
  
Jonathan Sims doesn’t know what to do once he pulls Martin out of The Lonely except to just grip his hand tight so they don’t get separated. Basira finds them quickly and tells them to run. Then before Jon can register anything, they’re pushed off to Scotland together. Jon _really_ doesn’t want to let go of Martin’s hand. Martin hasn’t spoken at all yet, so Jon just blabbers on about nothing, hoping some of it gets through. He talks about the smells that make him think briefly of his mother in passing moments. He talks about the cardboard pirate/space ship he made in his backyard. His favorite parts of the London Zoo. Until he’s finally just listing off different brands of tea as if Martin didn’t already know most of them. Martin eases into Jon during it all, his head falling on The Archivist’s shoulder. Their hands still together as they head towards an unknown address in an unknown land. Martin finally joins in on the conversation when he looks out the window and comments on the highland cows he can see outside. Jon smiles and nods as he lets out a small breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also really in to this seemingly Beholding type POV so....oops? Hope you enjoyed! Season 5, am I right????


	4. when i said it i thought it was true.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon listens to tapes that lead him to discovery.

_ “That boy needs to relax-”  
_ _ “Or at least find someone else to fuss over!”  
_ _ “Yeah, he’s got it bad.” _

Jon rewinds the tape again and again. There’s something at the pit of his stomach that tightens when he hears Basira and Melanie talk. A rush of emotions greet him as he deciphers the implications of their conversation.

Martin is...Martin. Jon hasn’t always been the best to him, he can be the first to admit that now. Though Jon hasn’t been the best to anyone really, not since he was promoted to Head Archivist. He laughs a little at himself, he really was so stupid back then. So trusting of Elias, who he now knows is evil in the way the Institute seems to harbor evil.

Martin though, Jon thinks, Martin isn’t evil. He’s kind and thoughtful. He writes poetry and is seemingly always in the kitchen making tea. Jon spent a lot of his time shooing him away, but now there’s something in the depths of him that wants Martin close. He regrets all that time he thought Martin’s genuineness was a front for more sinister intentions. Jon desperately wishes he knew about his feelings for Martin sooner. Maybe all of this could’ve been avoided. Or maybe it would have made things worse. Either way, Jon didn’t want to second guess any more. He wanted to trust Martin. In all things. But maybe it’s too late now, as he prepares to head to Norway, where he might die before he has a chance to talk to Martin. Before he has a chance to even process his own feelings. Martin’s staying behind, which puts Jon’s worries at ease. He hopes he can come back to him soon. Once this is all over. Then they can talk.

__ “Well, I hope you’ve got something better than that pathetic dig at my feelings for Jon.”  
_ "It’s baffling, really. Such loyalty to someone who really treats you very badly.”  
_ __ "Oh, is that supposed to be, what, a revelation?”

Jon feels sick. It could be from the fact that he just woke up from a coma he really probably shouldn’t have had. It could be from the events that happened next on tape. Or maybe it was just this new  _ thing  _ he felt in his body trying to settle down. Regardless, he wants to puke. He was so stupid. So blinded by his own fear and paranoia he never saw what was in front of him. Martin. In front of him. He tried his best for Jon who was too scared to do anything about it. He wants to leave this hospital. Wants to find Martin and tell him how he feels. But what does he feel? What does he want?

He wants Martin. Wants him to be safe. He needs that. Sasha and Tim are gone. They’re all they have left. Jon decides, as soon as he’s out of here. They can finally have that talk.

_ It’s odd, really. You each think you’re so focused on the other, but how much do you really know each other? How much time have you spent together when not working, or bickering, or fleeing from that latest thing that wants to kill you? _

Jon hears Peter’s voice in his head and his skin crawls. He’ll deal with him later, for now he focuses on finding Martin. Pete’s an old fool, Jon thinks, he reaches down into himself and tries to shift through the white clouds of The Lonely. It’s messy and there’s no shape to anything, all the sounds are far off in the distance, just out of reach. Peter leaves him for the moment. He sees Martin through the fog. “I really loved you, you know.”

Jon doesn’t have time to think about the past tense of that declaration before Martin slips from his view again. He doesn’t want it to end like this. It can’t end like this. Not for them. There’s so much Jon hasn’t gotten to say. He...he loves Martin. He knows that now, as he stands cold and alone. It’s a terrible place to realize it, but maybe that’s the point.

He kills Peter. He finds Martin, begs him to leave with him. They do. They leave hand in hand. All Jon wants now is to talk with him. He wishes with whatever humanity he has left inside him that they get to do it once out of this wretched place.

They talk a lot. In that little safehouse in Scotland. He can’t say it though, he’s too scared. To lose whatever they have now. They’re technically wanted fugitives, but Jon doesn’t care. Because Martin is with him and they are safe. All he wants is for Martin to know, but there’s something that holds him back and he can’t quite place it. He thinks maybe if he says it out loud the bubble put up around them will burst. So for now he’ll take the subtle glances and the calm nights where they talk about nothing of importance. Then maybe soon, they’ll talk about something more serious.

But then Jon opens the door, and they’re once again fighting for their lives. Peaceful moments passed. The new world is scary, but at least Jon finally said it, even if it was in a rush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet this week, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading :)


	5. It's perfectly fine to like your hand inside of mine

For so long, Jon didn’t have a name to put what he felt into words. It started when he was around fifteen, all his friends started to pair off with each other, dating, having sex, leaving Jon behind. It didn’t bother him too much, he just wasn’t interested at the time, and he thought that maybe, in time, he’d catch up to them.

But he never really did.

It wasn’t for lack of trying. There was a girl in his class, Abigail, who had asked him to the school dance. She was pretty and popular, so he agreed. He had a good enough time with her and she was genuinely nice, but at the end of the night when she tried to push it a bit further, Jon made an excuse, saying he couldn’t because he had to get back to his grandmother. They didn’t see each other after that, which was probably for the best.

Then in uni, there was Mark. Looking back, Jon thinks that they were probably more of an experiment for each other. Two kids fresh out of lower level schooling away from a strict watchful eye. Jon knew at that point he liked men romantically, that wasn’t the issue it was more the execution of it that was the problem. He had spent a lot of nights with Mark trying to make  _ it  _ work, but in the end it didn’t. That split was a little less amicable than the one with Abigail. He had to spend the rest of a semester with the heat of Mark’s glare at his back in class. Jon felt terrible about it some days, he wished he could be able to just do the damn thing, if to just make it easier on everyone else. He was tired of feeling like a burden.

He didn’t put words to it until he met Georgie. A spunky girl in one of his writing classes. Jon was in awe about how utterly fearless she seemed, about anything. She’d mouth off to the professor if she didn’t agree with what he said. Her hair was constantly dyed different colors. Jon was secretly smitten and he wished he was as cool as her.

So he was properly thrown when she asked him out. She had a friend in a band, because of course she did, who was playing a gig at a local pub. He accepted and Jon had never felt as nervous as he did getting ready for that date. He spent hours in the mirror as he tried on at least ten different outfits.

The show was fun and the pints of beer he consumed helped calm his nerves. Georgie’s place was within walking distance of the pub, so there they stood awkwardly outside her door. Jon wanted to do something, say something to her, but his mouth was dry. She didn’t offer him to come in, but she did kiss him. Said she’d see him in class. Jon smiled all the way home.

They got comfortable in each other's company. Georgie didn’t so much as push Jon out of his comfort zone, but gently guided him along. He felt safe, which is why when Georgie tried to move a little further, Jon shut down.

He was frozen, unresponsive to her touches. His skin crawled and he felt cold. He’s experienced this before, the panic attacks, in a variety of different situations. He was embarrassed to be having one in front of her, but as always, she seemed to know exactly what to do to bring him from the ledge. When he calmed down, that’s when he told her. About how he really,  _ really _ , liked her, but not like that. How it made him feel lost and hopeless, to not want sex. Made him feel broken. She held his hand through it all and never took her eyes off him. He cried, mostly out of frustration and confusion.

That’s when she told him what being asexual was. That he wasn’t broken because he didn’t want sex. That he’s been a wonderful partner to her these past weeks and that they didn’t have to do anything Jon didn’t want, because he deserved that respect.

Jon smiled as she started to rant about all the things good about him, she might have been going a bit overboard, but it did make him feel better. That might have been the moment he started to fall in love with her. As well as anyone in their early twenties could fall in love with someone.

Of course, they didn’t last. It wasn’t anything horrible. It was mostly because Georgie got an internship at a big production company across the country and she had to move. She hadn’t ever been one to stay in one place for too long, Jon knew. Regardless, they agreed to stay friends and he was thankful for that.

He didn’t really try to date after that. There were a few people he went on one or two dates with, but honestly his life got so busy with his new job at The Magnus Institute, he didn’t really care.

That’s where he met Tim, and that was just a laughable miscommunication. Jon was so oblivious he didn’t realize it was supposed to be a date until Tim kissed him at the end, not that Jon was necessarily mad about it. Tim was conventionally attractive and certainly had everyone swoon over him at one point or another. 

He started to stutter after the kiss, explaining he was ace and not interested in that with  _ anyone  _ and he apologized if Tim expected anything much further. Tim blinked in response but then just shrugged and quickly kissed Jon again. He thanked Jon for telling him and laughed at the misunderstanding. They did try in earnest to go on a few dates after that, but nothing of note came from it. If anything it just helped them grow close as friends. Sometimes, Jon even helped as Tim’s wingman and similarly, if anyone tried to get too handsy with Jon, Tim would step in and send them on their way.

Then the promotion came, and Jon had even less time to think about anything else. The state of disarray Gertrude left for him occupied his time. Then the trivial problem of a messy archive bloomed into trying to stop the apocalypse, and then, of course, that led to accidentally starting a  _ different _ apocalypse.

He had Martin though. Jon thinks maybe one of the reasons he fell in love with Martin was because they didn’t have time to slow down and try to be intimate, one of the perks of having something always trying to kill you, he supposed. Plus, Martin was Martin and he was too aware of other’s feelings to push anything. So when Jon came out to him, he didn’t bat an eye, he didn’t pull away. He just said “okay” and “that’s fine.” Nothing between them really changed and Jon breathed a real breath for the first time in what seemed like ages. He started to kiss Martin more openly after that, the fear of expectation for more squashed and dead. He held Martin as he squirmed through the nightmares on their small bed in Scotland.

Regardless of what’s brought him here, Jon knows he’s lucky to have found people like Georgie, like Tim, like Martin, who loved him in a way he didn’t think was possible for him. There were a lot of things Jon was unsure about, especially now, but this wasn’t one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i self projected hard onto this one whoopsies.
> 
> Just......thanks Jonny Sims for making an ace protagonist. That was real solid of you <3
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> See you next week!


	6. i don't forgive you for this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim visits Jon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for just...general survivors guilt/negative self talk i suppose? tread lightly. Tim's a sad man.

Tim is angry as he sits by the hospital bed. He shouldn’t be alive. He doesn’t want to be alive. They went to the wax museum. He blew it up himself. He just very well shouldn’t be alive.

When he woke up in the hospital bed a few days ago he was confused. He remembers thinking this was a weird set up for heaven, or whatever afterlife he was in. Maybe he was stuck in some purgatory, because he and God both know he wasn’t the best person the last year or so.

But then he saw Basira and Martin, and they looked pretty real. Martin was crying and almost jumped on Tim when he saw him move. He was informed that he’s been in a coma for almost five months. “Why didn’t anyone pull the plug,” he asks bluntly. Tim knows he must still be alive then, because the feeling he gets in his stomach when he sees Martin's reaction to that makes him feel bad. Feel guilty. He apologizes halfheartedly and thus begins the recovery process. 

He’s finally being discharged but before he goes he pays a visit to Jon.

Jon, still wrapped in layers of bandages and unconscious. Tim swears he sees his eyes move back and forth under his eyelids but it’s impossible to tell.

“You fucking asshole,” he says. His only response is the beep of the monitors.

He thinks back to when they first met. He’d just joined the Institute and Tim laughs now because he remembers him being so stuck up and pretentious. The reality is Jon was a bit of a prick, but Tim knew it was mostly a coverup. He knew Jon cared a lot about a lot of different things. Hell, they even were friends for a time. They genuinely liked each other.

And then this damned job happened.

The Stranger has taken so much from Tim: it's taken Danny...it’s taken Sasha. Now it might even take Jon. Yet, somehow it didn’t take him and he’s just so angry about that. His skin hasn’t stopped feeling hot since he’s woken up. A bubbling rage boiled inside him. This life wasn’t fair, but when had it ever been.

“Why am I the one sitting in this chair and not you, boss,” he says, “We both know it should be the other way around.”

Beeps.

“You...you’re the one who, ugh” Tim lets out a frustrated yell. His chest burns in pain at the sudden movement. He hates that he can still feel pain.  _ He shouldn’t be able to feel anything. _

Tim doesn’t know what to say. He’s so damn lost. He’s afraid. He’s just angry.

“This was a stupid plan, We all knew that. We shouldn’t have... _ you  _ shouldn’t have done this, Jon. There’s people here who care about you…” he says, “Martin...he’s-you can’t leave him like this. You stubborn old bastard,”

Tim’s not an idiot. He figured out Martin’s crush on Jon years ago and he’s seen the few occasions Jon let his guard down and stared at Martin the same way. They both were damn fools. Pining after another and not just doing the thing. Though he’s not one to talk, at least neither Martin nor Jon got murdered by a Stranger that stole their life.

“Look. Jon. You need to...you need to  _ fix  _ this. You need to wake up and you need to be here because you don’t get off this easy. I was the one who-” he stops. He’s crying now, tears of anger. Tears of sorrow. He didn’t really know. He continues, “ _ I  _ was the one who was supposed to die. Not you. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. Orsinov’s dead. The Unknowing was stopped. You...we saved the fucking world. You should be here to celebrate that.”

He leans down onto his knees, placing his hands onto his forehead as he grits his teeth. The anger he’s felt since waking up has cooled some. He’s now filled with what he thinks is grief. He looks at Jon, the beeps continue to ping at his ears. It’s far too loud.

“We were friends once yeah, Jon? God, that was a different time though wasn’t it? I remember you being insufferable. You had such a stick up your ass. I couldn’t stand you,” he says. He smiles now, and it is genuine. “But I saw through you, Jonathan Sims. Despite trying hard not to, you care about people. You wouldn’t have tried so hard with this whole thing if you didn’t. You just have a real shit way of showing it,” Tim laughs, “We all do I guess. Maybe that’s why the Institute called us. It knew or something. After all I’ve seen, I wouldn’t put it past that at this point.”

Tim feels like he’s being watched now. That familiar sensation creeps up his back. He turns to see Martin in the doorway. His eyes are red still. Tim gives him a small smile. He stands up.

“You better wake up, Jon. I can’t forgive you if you don’t,” he says.

As he exits, he gives Martin a stiff hug that isn’t returned. He sighs as he heads back to his room. The feeling of being watched still lingers, and the rage in his stomach starts up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways I miss tim stoker a lot.
> 
> Thanks for reading, see you next week!


	7. Hair Dye and Bathroom Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two times Jon dyes his hair.

_Jon sat in front of Georige’s mirror with his eyes closed. He felt better than ever as Georgie ran her hands through his hair. Her fingers were gentle yet firm as she rubbed in the dye. They planned to have just a quiet night in with pizza and wine to celebrate the end of the term when she had surprised him with bright purple hair dye._

_Jon was hesitant at first. He’s never dyed his hair, much less dyed it such a bold color, but Georige insisted he’d look great in it and she said it would only last a few washes anyway. So he agreed and just by the way he feels with her hands in his hair he doesn’t regret the decision._

_“You still with me there Jon?” she asked with a teasing tone. He slowly opened his eyes and just gave a lazy nod. She laughs and leans down and kisses him on the cheek._

_“Sorry I’ve just always enjoyed people playing with my hair-it...it feels nice,” he said. Georgie gives a low hum in response._

_“I think I've known you long enough to realize that, Jon,” she said._

_It’s true, though Jon doesn’t remember speaking about it in such open terms until now but he does think about all the times he’s been overwhelmed in front of her and how each time she’d reach for his head and gently start to scratch through his scalp until he calmed down. When she knew the mood was right she’d make a joke about how him and The Admiral weren’t so different._

_Much to Jon’s silent displeasure she removed her hands and took off her gloves, “alright all done. We’ll wash it out in about forty-five minutes,” she said._

_Fast forward and Jon was now standing at the bathroom mirror with a little blush on his cheeks. He liked the way it looked. It almost made him feel normal, like he was capable of doing fun things from time to time despite evidence against it. Georgie reached up and ruffled his hair while she also praised her handiwork. The rest of the night is quiet and serene and Jon falls asleep on the couch with The Admiral on his stomach and his head in Georgie’s lap.  
  
  
_

He comes to and the world is different. He is different. He gathered himself to realize he’s back in Scotland in the cabin. He looks around and sees Martin asleep; his gentle snores fill the otherwise silent space. He smiles. Jon runs a hand through his own hair and takes in a breath. He tries to remember if the shop down at the village has hair dye or at least something of the sort. He tells himself to check in the morning.

He’s pleased with the result the next day when he enters the cabin with a bright smile on his face. Martin looked at him with intrigue, “What are you so happy about then?” he said, his eyes go bright, “Oh did you find the cow I told you about Isn’t he-”

Jon stopped him, “What? Oh no sorry I didn’t look I’m-uh-sure he’s great. No I just...thought of something we could do last night,” he said as he holds up the bags, “It’s something i’ve only done once before but I, well I liked it and I thought now might be as good of a time as any,” he’s rambling now but Martin looks at him with all the fondness in the world on his face.

“Alright, what did you have in mind?” Martin asked.

Now Jon feels nervous as he sheepishly removes the hair dye from the bag. Purple for him and pink for Martin. Martin looks at him suspiciously but with a glint in his eye, “Really? You want to do this? _You?_ ” he said.

Jon shrugs, “I don’t know. I just...think it’d be nice. Like, there’s not much else we have to do really but we-we also don’t have to if you don’t want to it was a silly suggestion I’m sorry if-”

“Jon. Jon please I don’t _not_ want to. It just...surprised me as all,” Martin said. He takes a step towards him and grabs the boxed dye. He looks between the two colors. “Is the pink for me?” he asked.

Jon slowly smiles and nods as he reaches out a hand and places it on Martin’s cheek, “I think it would suit you,” he said in a whisper.

Martin smiles big then and nods. He begins to open the box, “well let's get to it then,” he said as he heads towards the bathroom.

Now Jon stood in front of a different bathroom mirror as he admired his new hair. It feels just as good as last time but it’s soured a bit when he thinks of Georgie. He hopes she’s okay and that she’s safe with Melanie and The Admiral. He lets his thoughts drift briefly until he sees Martin in the corner of his eye. He looks nervous as anything, but Jon sees him and can’t stop the smile spread across his face.

Martin looked in the mirror and his face covered most of the base emotions in less than a second. Jon laughed as he looks at him through the mirror. “You look great,” he said. Martin turns to look at him now, his face still not totally convinced.

“It’s, uh, different that’s for sure. But I...I think I like it, you look...wow you actually look pretty good,” he said. 

Jon let out a laugh as he feels the blush creep onto his cheek, “that’s a reassuring way of putting it. Thank you, Martin-”

“No no I’m sorry you know that’s not what I meant. I just...it makes you look so...young. Happy…” Martin trailed off.

The air between them gets almost a little too heavy and Jon’s in too good of a mood to try and let it get to them. Not now.

He reaches up and runs his hands through Martin’s hair before dropping them to pull him into a hug. He can tell he’s surprised but he responds and they stand there holding each other for a fleeting moment as Jon reminds himself that this _is_ real and they _are_ safe for now. He tries to enjoy it as long as he can.

“Thank you for doing this with me,” he said into Martin’s shirt. They break a part. Now Martin places a soft hand to Jon’s cheek and gives him a polite nod, his now pink curls following along in the movement.

“Of course, Jon,” he said.

They exit the bathroom and start another day of lounging around the cabin. A peaceful day passes and Jon doesn’t complain about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for missing last week! Hope this makes it up to ya!
> 
> The world kinda sucks right now, hope all of you are keeping safe<3


	8. Dog Days at the Institute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another martin brings a dog into the institute story :D

Martin sneaks through the doors and looks around. He sighs seeing that the coast is clear. He’s holding his arms tight around his jacket which anyone who saw might take that as he was too cold, but it was the middle of spring and the London humidity was in full force. He hoped no one would notice.

He makes his way to the employee lounge and again is thankful no one’s there. His jacket barks. His eyes go wide as he quickly tries to hush it. He sticks a hand inside and starts to stroke. Good thing he wasn’t being watched otherwise this would look pretty weird.

He starts to stumble around for some water and rummages through the fridge to find any acceptable food making a reminder to leave a note apologizing to whomever about taking their lunch.

He was almost home free until he heard the door open.

“Oh! Morning Martin you’re here,” Sasha starts to say. She sees Martin holding a bowl of water and then focuses on the moving bulge in his jacket, “...early?” she finishes.

Before he can respond his jacket barks again. He doesn’t meet Sasha’s eyes as he tries to cover it up with a cough, “oh uh hi-hi Sasha I didn’t hear you come in uh I just uh. Wanted to get a head on some things. Jon has us busy these days you know heh,” he says. He knows how red he gets when he’s caught in a lie and he can feel his face boiling. He stands still, unsure of what to do next.

“Martin...Martin is there a dog under your jacket?” Sasha asks plainly.

Martin pushes out a non-committal laugh, “Pssh what? No-no. I don’t have anything under here I just uh...ate a big breakfast ha ha you know how it is sometimes,” he says.

Sasha just sighs and walks over to him. She pokes the spot in his jacket. It moves. She gives Martin a smirk and doesn’t give him a chance to protest as she opens up his jacket slowly. He just looks on in horror and embarrassment.

A head pops out. Floppy ears and scruffy hair come into view as a small dog inspects the room. It looks terrified and Sasha lets out a long cooing noise. She immediately takes it and puts it in her arms. The dog begins to lick her face, tail wagging ferociously back and forth. Sasha laughs and Martin starts to slowly relax and smile.

“I think he likes you,” he says.

Sasha laughs, “Of course he likes me, Martin, everyone does!” she says so nonchalantly and gives him a wink for good measure.

Martin moves to speak but he’s interrupted by the door opening again. He panics but Sasha doesn’t move, she’s still perfectly occupied by the dog in her arms.

“Oh what are you two…” Tim starts. He looks at the dog, then looks between the two of them, “well who is this then?” he asks, making a beeline towards the dog. It quickly becomes a competition between Tim and Sasha about who can get the most affection from the dog and Martin watches in slight amusement from the sidelines. Those two have always been close, sometimes Martin feels like an outsider in their little group, but he tries not to think about it now.

“Where did you find this little buddy?” Sasha asks, turning her attention back to Martin who is startled a bit, coming out of his fog.

“Oh uh I was walking here from that little coffee shop down at the corner, I-uh, stop in there some mornings because they have good tea and actually surprisingly good sandwiches and so sometimes i go there for a pick me up-uh-and it’s nice and I-” he realizes he’s rambling but he doesn’t know how to stop it. Tim and Sasha just continue to look at him. He knows the blush on his face has probably deepened, “Sorry. Sorry not the point. Yeah anyway I saw him curled near the garbage bins. I think-I think he’s injured and I wanted to help him. Thought I could-Thought I could give him some water and food and find a place to put him while I set up a vet appointment,” he says. He trails off, aware that he’s been talking too much again.

Tim looks unbothered and Sasha gives him a big grin as she takes one hand and ruffles his hair. “Martin Blackwood you big softie. This little guy is lucky you came by then. And I’d be happy to help you get him back on his feet,” she says.

“Yeah me too, Martin, we here at The Magnus Institute just love helping people,” Tim says with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but his face shows there’s not too much malice behind the words.

Martin blinks, “Oh uh you don’t have to do that. Really I’m the one who brought him in here. I don’t want to get you guys in trouble. If Jon finds out he’ll-”

“Oh the boss is too busy moaning over the state of his precious archives he’ll be too preoccupied. Trust me i’ve been able to sneak a lot past him,” Sasha says with a laugh.

“Oh..O-okay but what about Elias,”

“It’s the same thing. That man doesn’t leave his stuffy office unless he finds it most convenient for himself. I doubt he’ll notice anything,” Tim pipes up.

Martin chews it over as he looks at the little mutt in Sasha’s arms. He’s staring back at him and his mouth his open, tongue out and smiling.

“I think he likes you too, then,” Sasha mentions.

Martin smiles and pats the top of the dogs head. He looks between his two friends, “Fine. Fine you can help just. Keep it quiet. Please,” he says.

Sasha takes a hand and makes the zipping motion on her lips as confirmation. Tim just smiles and shrugs. He comes over and places an arm across Martin’s shoulders, “so what’s first, boss?” he says.

\---

Cut to almost two weeks later and the dog is still there. He’s healed from the slight injury he had and is looking better than ever. He should have been gone almost a week again now, but as the three of them tried to take him to a shelter they found that none of them could say goodbye. It took them twenty minutes of awkwardly fighting outside the door before they agreed to try and just keep him under wraps at the Institute.

It really is going well. The dog, now named Sparky, it was Tim’s cheeky idea, stayed with them in the assistants office where Tim conveniently already had a secret hideaway for things he wouldn’t talk about. It was small but big enough for Sparky to be comfortable and they set it up so he could have a place to sleep when they went home at night. Though Martin suspects that Sasha’s taken him home some days, he doesn’t bring it up.

It works and things are light between the three of them. Martin likes having friends, he hopes Tim and Sasha like him too. It’s fun being with them and taking on this secret inside task together. Martin feels light. Happy.

One morning, he’s in the break room alone. He’s getting a bowl of water to take back with him. He hears the door open and assumes it’s either Tim or Sasha so he doesn’t look up.

“What are you doing with that?” Jon says. Martin freezes. He drops the bowl in the sink. He’s thankful it doesn’t crack.

“Oh uh. Hi-hi Jon I was just uh...rinsing out the bowl. I-uh used it early..earlier and uh…”

“It looked like a dog bowl…” Jon says as he begins to walk towards Martin. He tries to use his body to shield Jon getting too close to the sink.

“Hey! Martin do you have the wat-” Sasha begins to say while busting in. Sparky’s in her arms. Martin lets out a pained groan.

Jon turns and looks at Sasha. He clearly sees the dog. He sighs and rubs a hand over his face.

“Look Jon I can explain-”

“It was me, boss. I brought this little guy here. I found him one morning and thought we could use an office pet!” Sasha interrupts Martin and she gives him a look as to say  _ ‘I’ve got this’ _

Jon looks to Martin and he can tell that’s not the truth, but Martin sees how tired Jon looks. The bags under his eyes grow darker and darker. Jon sighs, “Look I’m not mad and I’m not gonna argue with you I just...want you to make sure you’re careful. There’s a lot of important stuff we can't risk-”

“Yeah yeah we know boss. We’ve had him here almost a month now and you hadn’t noticed so,” Sasha beams. She walks closer to the both of them. He holds out Sparky to Jon. He flinches, clearly uncomfortable.

Martin’s about to step in but before he can Jon reaches out a hand, Sparky smells it and then begins to lick. Jon smiles, a real smile, and begins to pet the dog. It’s a soft moment and Martin notices some of the lines on Jon’s face disappear. He looks younger now, he gives a laugh as Sparky tries to squirm out of Sasha’s arms and into Jon’s.

He takes him and that’s even more of a sight to see.

Martin’s breath catches and he tries to swallow down an audible gasp.  _ Uh oh. _

Sasha stares at him with a little gleam in his eye and nudges him slightly. He tries to wave her off. He tries to turn his attention back to the abandoned bowl in the sink, begging himself to look anywhere but directly at Jon.

It takes a few moments before Jon seemingly realizes where he is and who's in the room with him. He promptly hands the dog back to Sasha and clears his throat, straightening up his shirt. “Right. Back to work then both of you. There’s this one case that I need following up on,” he says and leaves the break room without another word.

Sasha snorts, “I think we just witnessed our boss experience an emotion, Martin,” she teases. He gives a shrug, he’s trying not to think about it.

He again sees Sasha give him a devilish look as to say she understands exactly what just happened. She moves to the sink and fills up the bowl herself. On her way out she gives him one last look, “If he ever breaks your heart I’ll be sure to stick Sparky on him,” she says leaving before Martin can reply.

He’s alone now, and he can’t stop thinking about Jon holding the dog. He sighs but it ends in a smile. He feels happy and warm. It’s not something he feels often and he hopes it’s here to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 170 got me messed up as well as everyone else im sure so Martin deserved some FLUFF as a treat.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
